Have you seen the trend?

Where men strap on period pain simulators (devices that deliver electric muscle contractions to mimic menstrual cramps) and react with shock, tears, and screams. It has made for compelling content and sparked important conversations. And in fairness, it is genuinely valuable to see men attempting, even imperfectly, to inhabit a physical reality that is not their own.

But I have to say: Do we really need a simulator?

Empathy has never required identical experience. A doctor does not need to have had cancer to treat it with compassion. A human rights lawyer does not need to have been imprisoned to fight for someone’s freedom. The simulator is a novelty, a useful conversation-starter, perhaps but it risks reducing menstrual dignity advocacy to a spectacle. It can suggest that men need to feel the pain before they are obligated to acknowledge the reality. That is a low bar. And women deserve far better than a low bar.

What we actually need is not men who have briefly simulated three minutes of cramp discomfort. We need men who will show up consistently in kitchens, classrooms, pharmacies, workplaces, and policy rooms as informed, unbothered, and actively supportive allies.

Male allyship for dignity in menstruation looks like these:

1. Normalizing the conversation, and I mean men comfortable having calm, factual, everyday conversations about periods with their daughters, sisters, partners and colleagues. Comfort is built through repetition. Start talking.

2. Remove the shame from the errand. Buying sanitary products is not contraband. If you have a woman in your life, buy sanitary products without the theatrical performance. Just buy them.

3. Advocate for menstrual health in your spheres of influence. Men in leadership (fathers, community leaders, teachers, policymakers) have disproportionate power to normalize or stigmatize. Advocate for menstrual hygiene products in schools. Support policies that ensure girls do not miss class because they lack access to water. Push back when menstruation is used as a joke or a dismissal in public discourse. Your voice in those rooms carries weight that women’s voices are often denied.

4. Understand that period poverty is a justice issue. For many women and girls across Nigeria and beyond, menstruation is not merely uncomfortable, it is dangerous. Girls drop out of school. Women lose workdays. In conflict-affected and resource-poor communities, the absence of menstrual products is a human rights crisis. Male allies who understand this speak up for budget lines, donate to relevant causes, and refuse to let “women’s issues” be dismissed as peripheral.

5. Believe women when they tell you they are in pain. This one is deceptively simple and profoundly important. Dismissing period pain as exaggerated, dramatic, or inconvenient is one of the most common ways men inadvertently communicate that women’s bodily experiences do not matter. Believe them. Adjust your expectations and accommodate where you can.

A Bonus Note but for Women: This work cannot all be one-directional. If we want the men in our lives to show up better, we have a role to play in creating the conditions for that.

Voice it specifically and without apology.

Many men remain on the sidelines from genuine uncertainty. They do not know what you need because they have never been told. And sometimes we, exhausted, in pain, default to silence, hoping they will figure it out, and then feeling hurt when they don’t. I admit, I’m guilty of this too. But I, we can do better.

Your mother probably taught you otherwise but say it. If it means this much to you: “Can you help pick up pads or a tampoon on your way home.” “I am having cramps pain today and can’t speak right now.” Such specific requests are not weakness.

To the men who are already getting it right, even imperfectly, RESPECT.